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If a man believes in romance, then he must be a wuss!
“A true man doesn’t want to romance a different girl every night, a true man wants to romance the same girl for the rest of her life…”
There is this myth… that if a man is romantic, then he is not considered to be ‘macho’… worse still, there are many who think that if a man believes in romance, or displays romantic tendencies, then he is simply weak, or a wuss! – NOT SO!
Here is another perspective for you, from a man’s stand point… Yes I know I am a man, so how on earth can I possibly know what a woman wants? – Well, I have been married a couple of times, dated many women in my forty something years (perhaps too many!), and as they say… practice does actually make perfect (well almost!)…
Despite living in a world of equality that is rammed down our throats each and every day, every woman does want romance, and wants her man to be romantic… doesn’t she?
Most women (and I say most, as there is always the exception!) do want their man to be romantic. However, here is the problem – no matter what she may say, every woman has a daydream tucked away deep inside of her. The dream of a man whisking her off of her feet, and even when a woman rejects the idea from their thought process, it’s still there, lingering – buried deep down inside of her. The idea of her knight in shining armor has been embedded into a woman’s head from a very early age, courtesy of numerous stories, novels and movies, about Prince Charming rescuing his Princess.
So what is Romance?
The term Romance comes from the Vulgar Latin adverb romanice, derived from Romanicus – The dictionary describes romance as… “A love affair… an ardent emotional attachment or involvement between two people… Strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something… Mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal, as of something adventurous, heroic, or strangely beautiful” Whichever way you look at it, romance is so much more…
Romance is holding hands, cuddling up to each other when there is a bad storm, smelling one another and not wanting to let go, or as I like to say… ‘skin on skin’ (no, that doesn’t necessarily mean sex… well maybe!), walking along the beach during the day or at night and laying under the stars together during the summer nights. This doesn’t mean you can’t do it during the winter or autumn months, but you might get a bit cold… but then of course you could always cuddle up to one another – yup, that’s romance!
In real day-to-day life, romance is about keeping that excitement going between two people on an ongoing basis. Surprise, tenderness, spoiling etc… It is also portrayed often in novels and in movies… something that is seen to be ideal, but achieved by a very few… I am by no means a scholar on the subject, but I feel somewhat qualified to comment, as I write ‘love thrillers’ with a large helping of romance built-in… My first novel, The Measure of Love, sets the scene for an ongoing story, which is now into its fifth novel…
How can a man be Romantic?
Well, there are many ways for a man to display romantic ideas and thoughts to the one he cares about, or more importantly the one he loves. This love of course differs from the love you would have for a child, a parent or a sibling…
Here are a few thoughts… For those of the female race reading this article, subtly email your man this article… we all need a little push sometimes! – and for the guys… Sorry mate, but you need to know, and guess what… your woman might show her appreciation to you in ways that you never thought were possible… ever!
Romance is unquestionably contagious. The best way to get your girl (or guy) to be more romantic, is to be more romantic with them in the first place. Here are some suggestions (and that’s all they are… suggestions!)
Nostalgia – Nine-eight percent of romance is remembering not to take each other for granted… Easier said that done, I know! – Try tapping into those long-lost crush feelings by regularly thinking back to those first exhilarating moments that made you fall in love in the first place… the first time you met, your first date, your first kiss, your first time naked together, the first time you had teary, face-holding, OMG we-adore each other sex!
TMI – There is a fine line between intimacy and TMI (too much information…) I am certainly not so prude as to suggest that you should never pee in front of one another, but is it so much to ask that you keep your ‘number two’s’ private?
Random Contact – I am not talking about to the point where there are illicit pleads from others of ‘get a room,’ but just enough to increase your daily physical contact and prove to the world (or even just your dog) that you are in love… Hold hands whenever possible. Give her (and him) a peck on the lips for no reason other than being random, and a hug here and there. Studies have shown that even a twenty-second hug raises oxycocin levels, and oxycocin is the ‘hallmark card’ of the hormone world.
Notes – Write a short note that is spread out over several postcards, then post them one at a time… You will build up anticipation for the romantic conclusion on the final postcard. Maybe deliver the last one in person!
Quickies– Time is not an excuse, but if you don’t have the time, simple things will make all the difference – why not try these five simple things:
Buy a lottery ticket, give it to your man (or woman) with a little note ‘I hit the jackpot when I met/married you.’
Write on the bathroom mirror ‘I love you’ with her lipstick or his soap!
Place a little ‘love note’ under his/her windscreen wiper of his/her car.
Have ‘your song’ playing on the stereo/ipod when your partner gets home.
Turn off the TV and put a note on the screen saying… ‘turn me on instead’ …
So, whichever way you look at it (or not) romance is all around us, every day. Guys… try it, you never know you might actually enjoy it, and it doesn’t make you a wuss – if anything, it shows a man’s true strength, not a weakness in expressing emotions and being romantic… and girls… we are not all Neanderthal cave men incapable of showing you a bit of romance. Contrary to popular belief, we can do more than one thing at a time… so give us a break… but I suppose when you’re a woman it’s not that easy to lower your expectations… is it?
Oh, one last thing… please note that if your man (or woman) suddenly displays signs of romance as a result of reading this article, and it is completely out of character or the norm… it doesn’t mean they are having an affair!!! – Just enjoy it!
Jeremy Lebor currently resides in London, England. His background is one of matrimonial and family law… He subsequently spent a number of years successfully as both an artist manager, and agent/promoter in the entertainment industry, working in Europe, Asia and the United States… Writing, among many other varied interests is one of his passions, and as such, he is an author and regular blog contributor.